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Values are hugely important – they are the principles spoken and unspoken that govern our thoughts, our emotions and our actions.

They spring from a combination of who we are, what we have learned, our environment and the age in which we have grown up; they surface in many areas of our lives, whether or not we are conscious of them. Whether it be on a personal level, an organisational level, community or society or even national, values are important for us to function in line with what is important to us and contribute overall to our own well being and happiness in life.

I would like to start with the “Value of Self and ask what this means both in theory and in practice as at. I would suggest that this can often be the starting point that is overlooked, particularly as parents, teachers or those who spend most of their time caring for and giving to others.

Is this not an extra luxury beyond the reach of most of us or at best a selfish attitude that centres around our own needs?

Do you recall the days when we travelled on planes freely?? I remember my thoughts, when, on hearing the safety announcement telling us that in the event of an emergency, the first priority was to ensure our own oxygen masks were securely attached.

My immediate thought was “ I couldn’t do that” – I would need to deal with the needs of my children or those less able than me on the plane first.

My next realisation was to see that if I didn’t see to my own needs, I would very quickly not be in a position to help anybody as my own oxygen rapidly diminished. Simple as this was, it was a thought provoking moment. Is valuing my life and my choices such a selfish thing to do? Are there benefits in prioritising my own well -being?

Imagine if you will, having been entrusted to a very valuable painting by the artist himself – a Van Gogh or a Rembrandt, a family heirloom, or a spanking new Audi TT (your choice!)

You will admire it, the design, the creative genius ;you will be careful to ensure it is kept safely and protected from harm I should imagine. If it needs maintenance, you will ensure it is looked after in the best way you can. You will make provision for it and make changes in your life if necessary in order to prioritise whatever you value. Your behaviour will be affected by what you feel about its value.

Now look at yourself – as a unique human being you are of great value – intrinsic worth

Now look at yourself – as a unique human being you are of great value – intrinsic worth – you have a unique genetic make up, your talents and abilities are not the same as anyone else’s, you have been given a skill set and life that is yours to be responsible for and to enjoy to its fullest.

There can be so many things that get in the way of this – time, children, career demands, family needs, ill health, ageing parents – all of which are legitimate and important.

Life can be our dictator as opposed to us being responsible for our choices, behaviours and actions.

If I return to my brand new shiny Audi TT, if I don't maintain it, give it water and oil, service it, test the brakes etc, I am likely to end up with a vehicle not fit for the supreme purpose it was designed. If it continues, I will surely end with a clapped out burned out wreck which is a shadow of that former self... no value to me and no value to others either!

Take a few moments for you….

I would love you to take a moment to plan an uninterrupted time of 20 minutes for yourself – find yourself a notebook or use your phone and consider the following questions..

1. What do I think about valuing myself as a priority?

2. What are the ways in which I value myself? Maybe journal your thoughts for clarity.

3. Is it important to me to value myself?

4. What might the benefits be?

5. Are there ways in which I devalue myself?

6. Are there ways of thinking I can change which will then affect my behaviour?

If you feel that you would like more help to explore your values, please follow the link and get in touch.


Denise SF Coaching Into Life | | London, England

Life Coaching for teachers and student teachers | Life Coaching for Parents | General Life Coaching


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